Though I have mostly geared down into a carnivore diet, at least for now, for health reasons, there are several plant foods I still hope to be able to eat long term, in ascending order of joy and deliciousness, but not non-toxicness:
8. AVOCADO. This non-sweet fruit might actually be safe to eat other than the obvious (insert toilet.jpg) FODMAP issues. Fruits are generally the least toxic plant “foods” so this green meany might be OK to indulge in occasionally.
7. C2H5OH ALCOHOL. Obvious reasons where damage is concerned here, also obvious where all the fun goes down, and especially delicious when it comes in the form of distilled agave hecho en Mexico.
6. ALMONDS. Nuts in general are in the dark sinister underworld regions of food health and safety, and I love most of them. I just put almonds as the national representative from this country of criminals and outcasts. With all the inflammatory factors, mineral and vitamin robberies, and nice rich layer of oxalate icing on top, I’ll possibly never eat almonds or other nuts again on the regular. Hopefully the sensual and seductive Macadamias can still come to the party if they behave.
5. COCONUT. Phytic acid? FODMAP? Tannins? Saponins? It’s a feisty little beast and it definitely has something sinister brewing inside that brown shaggy skull, but damn that tropical aromatic deliciousness! Oil, butter, cream, milk, shredded, gimme all forms of the yummies. Zsófia Clemens may have mentioned that coconut oil has a fatigue factor associated with it so boo hoo to that!
4. BANANA. Carbohydrates and sugars are the obvious hoodlums here, but the flavor and texture makes me feel like a happy great grandpa newborn baby just delighted to poop his pampers, especially when pared with my one true love, chocolate.
3. PEPPERMINT. I have no information on if this ultra-pleasant herb has subtly deleterious properties or not. It seems to be soothing to digestion. Hopefully it’s one of the good guys.
2. BACON. Yes, bacon. Though mostly made of meat, it has plant additives, like celery and sugar which are what cause it to be dangerous. When governments, newspapers, and other institutional liars and disinformation providers say “processed meat causes cancer” it’s actually the plant based additives in the meat that are the villains, not the meat itself. Oh and nitrates and nitrites… right, those wonderful chemicals found in… vegetables.
1. COCOA AND CHOCOLATE. Cacao Cocoa and Chocolate are the holy trinity of flavor and pleasure in the world of the foods and in life overall. I dream of basking in endless rivers of swirling chocolate and building and living in a heavenly castle of shiny smooth brown gold then eating the whole glorious thing, one chocolate brick at a time. Blasted, those vicious oxalates!
Throw the damn killer broccoli and spinach in the trash where it belongs!