So my friend was texting me like omg my comedian bailed last minute come and do a comedy show at my real estate open house in a swanky Manhattan pad and I was like omg I am so busy but I’ll do this for you, and she was like get here by 5 and I was like there’s no way it’s already 415 and I have to shower and eat first, and now you know I don’t shower until the middle of the afternoon, and she was like ok get here by 530, so I was like OK, I’m rushing, then I saw a guy in the subway turnstyle coming out as I was going in and we did the back and forth dance like 3 times like which one are you going through and which one am I going through, then he went through one and I laughed then I slammed into the other one because I forgot I was going in and didn’t swipe then he laughed at me bent over the turnstyle bar like an idiot swiping my card over and over 17 times with the readout saying too fast swipe again too fast swipe again too fast swipe (14 more times), then I got on the train, then then I got there and the door man was all frowny like there’s no real estate showing today and I was like wtf I rushed to get here, then I texted my friend and she was like dude it’s tomorrow, and I was like dude why didn’t you tell me that and she was like dude I did and I was like dude I still don’t see it in my texts and then I was like well f, I already went to Manhattan let me see if I can do a comedy show, and I went down to the Pear and then the Lantern, and they were like maybe maybe not wait around and see and I was like damn I can’t wait around all night and see I got businesses to run and blogs to write and then I saw F Murray Abraham and Dave Attell and John Malkovich walking around town, all at different times, not together dumbdumb, and then I went to Trader Joes and got groceries and now I’m home and the reason I am giving this blog post as a lesson in how to not write a delirious gigantormonius run on sentence is because the whole day it was 100 degrees outside and my brain was trying to be not heated. And I also watched the newest episode of Better Call Saul.
6/13/2017