Washington DC –

In an addendum to her Green New Deal, congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has proposed a new ban on happiness.

She said, “Historically speaking, happiness has been something that’s been experienced by the ruling classes, so we feel that happiness is a supremacist sentiment, and is rather imperialist in nature. So we’ve decided to enforce a ban on happiness, just so that others feel they are you know, being treated fairly. When you experience happiness, somebody lower on the socioeconomic ladder might be offended by your experience of this happiness and that’s not right and it’s not American. We just can’t have that type of reckless behavior going on anymore.”

She added that she was aware that happiness does not directly impact the environment, but asserted that the ban on happiness reflects the importance of upholding our moral cause for equality and justice for all types of urban peoples, which she added are the only American people.

When questioned as to how the she or the government was going to monitor people’s happiness in order to enforce the ban, she responded with, “I find that question highly racist.”

She then laughed heartily, gave one of her deep trademark grins, and smiled widely for the camera, saying, “The fact that I can serve this country and make things right makes me so happy, as I deserve to be.”